One Sunday evening, my cousin sister, Tara, came over with her newborn baby, Mia. We had been looking forward to a calm, cozy evening with some homemade chai and catching up on life. But Mia had different plans.
As we were settling down, Mia began crying. Not just a soft whimper, but the kind of crying that made Tara immediately tense. “I don’t know what’s wrong, Priya,” she said, trying her best to keep calm. “She’s been crying like this for hours.”
I reached out to take Mia from her, giving Tara a break. “Let’s try to figure out what’s going on. Babies cry a lot at this age, but we can look at some common reasons,” I said, smiling at Tara. Together, we started to unravel the mystery behind Mia’s tears.
What Is Normal Crying for Babies
I gently rocked Mia as I explained, “You know, Tara, crying is completely normal for newborns. During those first few weeks, babies tend to cry an average of three to four hours each day, and it can peak at about six weeks of age. This crying isn’t always about something being wrong; it’s often just how they express themselves or communicate their needs.”
I looked at Mia’s little face, her brows furrowed as she cried. “Think of it as her way of talking to you,” I added. “Sometimes, she just wants comfort, or maybe she’s tired or hungry.”
When Does Crying Become Excessive?
“But when does it become a problem?” Tara asked, her eyes looking tired.
“Crying becomes excessive when it lasts for very long periods, especially during times when Mia should be sleeping or playing. It might also be more common with first babies, as parents feel extra pressure and anxiety,” I explained. “Let’s go through a checklist to understand what could be happening.”
A Checklist of Common Causes of Crying in Babies
We sat down, and I listed some of the possible reasons:
- Hunger: Often, hunger is the most common reason. It’s worth offering her a feed just to see if it helps.
- Wet or Soiled Nappy: Check her diaper. Wet or soiled nappies can be uncomfortable.
- Teething: Mia’s a bit young for teething, but if her gums seem swollen, it could be early signs of teeth coming in.
- Infant Colic: This can be one of the most distressing causes. Colic often occurs late in the afternoon and evening and can last for several weeks.
- Loneliness or Seeking Attention: Sometimes, she just wants to be held. Babies crave the warmth and reassurance of their parents.
- Infection: If there’s a fever or other symptoms, you might want to consult your pediatrician.
- Reflux (Oesophagitis): This is when stomach acid comes up into the oesophagus, causing discomfort. If you notice Mia arching her back or crying after feeds, it could be reflux.
Feeding Problems and Hunger
Tara looked worried. “What if she’s not feeding enough?” she asked.
“That’s another possibility,” I said, nodding. “If Mia isn’t getting enough milk, she could feel uncomfortable or even experience dark-green stools. It’s really important to watch her feeding closely.”
The Fussiness of Infant Colic
We discussed infant colic, as Mia’s crying seemed to intensify in the evenings. Colic is one of the most common causes of unexplained crying. It often starts around two weeks of age and can last up to 16 weeks. You’ll notice that it happens around the same time every day, especially during the late afternoon and evening.”
Tara sighed, “That sounds a lot like what’s happening.”
“It’s tough, I know. But remember, colic usually resolves itself over time, and there are some things we can do to help soothe her.”
What Should Be Done to Comfort a Crying Baby?
I could tell Tara was feeling a bit helpless. So I decided to break it down with some simple actions.
1. Understand the Common Causes
“It’s important to check out all the possible causes—hunger, discomfort, teething, or even a wet nappy. If there’s no obvious cause, it’s not your fault, Tara,” I said, giving her an encouraging smile. “You’re doing your best, and sometimes babies just need extra comfort.”
2. The Rule of 5 S’s by Dr. Harvey Karp
I told Tara about the ‘Rule of 5 S’s’, a method developed by pediatrician Dr. Harvey Karp to help soothe crying babies:
- Swaddling: Wrap Mia firmly but gently. It can help her feel more secure.
- Side or Stomach Position: Lay her on her side or stomach (but remember to always put her on her back when she sleeps).
- Shush: A gentle ‘shhh’ sound mimics the sounds of the womb and can help calm her.
- Swing: Sway her from side to side—rhythmic movement often works wonders.
- Sucking: Let her suck on a nipple, teat, or dummy. The sucking motion is naturally calming.
“Let’s try swaddling her and see how she feels,” I said, getting a soft blanket.
Reassuring Words for a Tired Mom
I could see Tara’s shoulders relax a bit. “You know, it’s really common to feel like you’re not doing enough when babies cry for no obvious reason, but it’s not true at all. Crying episodes do not reflect on your abilities as a mother.” I said this while wrapping Mia in the blanket, slowly rocking her. The crying started to ease, and a soft hush filled the room.
“Sometimes, it just takes a combination of all the little things—checking if she’s hungry, changing her nappy, holding her close,” I added. Tara smiled softly, reassured by the comfort in my voice.
The Emotional Side of Crying: Loneliness and Seeking Comfort
“Some babies cry just because they feel lonely or want attention. They crave being close to their parents,” I said. “It’s normal and even healthy for babies to want that closeness.”
Tara nodded. “She does calm down when I pick her up and hold her.”
When Should You Seek Medical Help?
“If you ever feel unsure, it’s best to see a doctor,” I continued. “For instance, if Mia has symptoms like fever, persistent vomiting, or if she’s refusing to feed, then that’s a clear sign you should get medical help. Also, if she cries continuously and you just can’t console her, don’t hesitate to reach out to a pediatrician.”
Frequently Asked Questions About Crying Babies
Q1: How Much Crying Is Normal for a Baby?
Newborns cry three to four hours a day on average. This is their primary way to communicate.
Q2: What Are the Main Causes of Excessive Crying?
Some of the common causes include hunger, discomfort, colic, loneliness, or an underlying infection.
Q3: How Can I Tell if My Baby Is Crying Due to Hunger?
If your baby starts sucking on their hands or makes rooting motions, it’s often a sign of hunger.
Q4: Is It Okay to Let My Baby ‘Cry It Out’?
For newborns, it’s important to respond to their cries to build a sense of trust and security. They cry because they need something—be it comfort, food, or a clean nappy.
Final Thoughts: Navigating the Ups and Downs of a Crying Baby
By the end of our conversation, Mia had calmed down in my arms, her eyes slowly closing as I rocked her gently. Tara sighed, a mix of exhaustion and relief washing over her.
“You’re doing great, Tara,” I said softly, handing Mia back to her. “Babies cry, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It just means Mia needs something, and sometimes, all she needs is you.”
Tara gave a tired smile. “Thank you, Priya. I guess I needed to hear that more than anything else.”
